I love how I get to experience random adventures in my life at the most inappropriate times. Today's episode clearly goes into my Hall of Fame as one of the most embarrassing moments ever. I needed to pop out to a nearby supermarket to get some groceries for the day, so I pulled on a pair of my jeans, grabbed my car keys and headed out the door. Now only when I reached the supermarket did I realize that I hadn't worn a belt with my jeans, which were now sitting snugly on my hips. Not paying much attention, I wandered into the store to get on with my shopping. Half an hour later, I'm standing in line with a trolley full of groceries, patiently waiting my turn. Now most of you will pretty much guess what happened next, but I'm going to tell you anyway. As soon as the guy in front of me had bagged this things, I moved forward to start putting my groceries onto the counter. At this crucial point, my jeans decided that they wanted to have a bit of fun, and promptly slid off my hips and balanced precariously on the flat piece of wood I call an ass, proudly showing off to the world my fabulous low-rise Ginch Gonch underwear. Now to stop my jeans sliding further down, I stood with my legs quite some distance apart, so to anyone passing by it would look like my water just broke and I was waiting for the old heave-ho. Slowly and calmly, I slid my hands behind me, hooked my thumbs into my jeans, and proceeded to squirm and wiggle my way back into my jeans, whilst stupidly grinning at the oblivious clerk who was scanning barcodes to her heart's content. Thankfully, I managed to slide back into my jeans, pay for my stuff, and sashay out of the store before anyone had even noticed my little public display.

Moral of the story? Always have a belt in your car's glove compartment.

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I recently enjoyed a fabulous birthday with my friends, and as part of the festivities, I had prepared a few CDs with my favorite songs, so we could boogie away on the dance floor. As part of the tracklist, a friend suggested I include MJ's Thriller just to mix things up a bit. You kinda already know what happens next - I jumped onto YouTube to find a video that would teach me the entire Thriller dance routine in under 3 minutes. After watching some horrifyingly complex videos, I came across two videos that I just had to share with you all.

The first video is the one that I watched to learn a more basic version of the Thriller, but what's utterly fantastic is the running commentary...have a watch:



And the second video is just...well, if you'd like to do the Thriller when you're hopped up on speed:


'80s Dances: How To Do The Thriller

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I had a rather fun weekend at the cinema with some friends - we decided to pull off a brief cinema marathon and went to see Star Trek and Angels & Demons back to back. I enjoyed both movies, but what's worth mentioning is that because the shows we had gone for were so busy, we decided to go for the ' VIP' seating for better viewing.

Now let me just explain what 'VIP seating' at Dubai cinemas means. You get to sit on the very last row of the cinema, against the back wall - this is supposedly a 'premium viewing angle'. The seats recline back, but you have to keep your back pushed into the seat so that it stays reclined and doesn't catapult you four rows into the front. And that is pretty much the end of the VIP experience - you still have to wait in bloody long queues at the concession stand, and you still get loud-mouthed retards who sit next to you.

Truly, worth every penny that we paid.

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White House Correspondant's Dinner.
Wanda Sykes.
You figure out what happens...





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Apparently there's a vicious rumor flying around town that Paris Hilton is set to fly to Dubai to film a Middle East version of 'My New Best Friend'. I don't know if she's going to be wearing an abaya or not during filming, but it's sure to be a hoot to see if this tramp is going to even make it out of the airport.

In my opinion, if you want to contract at least six STDs just by being around her, then sign up to hang out with Mizz Hilton!

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