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Saturday, January 24, 2009
Shine On

It's a common misconception that gay men don't like lesbians (and where exactly this belief came from I have yet to discover), but there is something on this planet that I dislike even more.

Kids.

Now I know most of you are going to start with the whole "Oh you were once a kid yourself " crap, but frankly I'm not buying it - I'm sure I was just as annoying when I was a kid. But staying with the plot, I seriously can't stand kids. There's just something about their high-pitched wailing, constant hyperactivity, and utter disregard for peace and quiet that just makes me want to leap off a building. But every so often, I get to turn my distaste of kids into pure amusement. From all my countless observations of parents and their kids, there is always one thing that makes me curl up in glee - ownership. Whenever the kid does something praiseworthy, all I hear is"Oh do you know what our little lovebucket did today?" And when the kid fucks things up, all you hear is "Do you know what your child did today!!??"


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5 Comments:
I love kids.. when they smile my heart simply melts.

Blogger bklyn_in_dubai said...
aside from my own, i have no time for them. as babies they are grotesque, unformed bags of mushy flesh and vomit and shit, and goes downhill from there. as for mine, i didn't think they were particularly cute or adorable til they could do stuff. what's the point of a shit machine that cant do stuff? but once they start doing stuff... oy.

Blogger nick said...
^^ can yours do cartwheels yet?? ;)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
ask anyone who's been stuck in a plane with a crying baby or hyper kids and I think everyone would agree.

what I cant figure out is when this extends to complete insensitivity - I found people harsher and more condemning of 'special' children (watch Taare...) who are usually less harm-doing than normal children, and actually cant help it.

I have found normal children (ie not those with special needs) and their parents very badly in need of therapy or punishment (or both) - but unfortunately it is meted out only to the special children - the normal ones go scot free!! Hope your readers and those who agree can bring about some balance.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Isnt st. nick the patron for children? Its showing already...!