Sam wrote a very cute post about 'How Out is your Underwear?' which got me thinking about the one thing I actually don't like about men's underwear - tightey whities. I think that men's white briefs should be banned from production immediatley - I don't care if they're branded by Armani and hiding David's anaconda, I can't stand a guy who wears white briefs. Even if he's got rippling abs to show off, it just screams "I'm a grown man yet I'm wearing underwear that's suited to a 6 year old"

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It's a common misconception that gay men don't like lesbians (and where exactly this belief came from I have yet to discover), but there is something on this planet that I dislike even more.

Kids.

Now I know most of you are going to start with the whole "Oh you were once a kid yourself " crap, but frankly I'm not buying it - I'm sure I was just as annoying when I was a kid. But staying with the plot, I seriously can't stand kids. There's just something about their high-pitched wailing, constant hyperactivity, and utter disregard for peace and quiet that just makes me want to leap off a building. But every so often, I get to turn my distaste of kids into pure amusement. From all my countless observations of parents and their kids, there is always one thing that makes me curl up in glee - ownership. Whenever the kid does something praiseworthy, all I hear is"Oh do you know what our little lovebucket did today?" And when the kid fucks things up, all you hear is "Do you know what your child did today!!??"

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So last weekend I went with some friends to the overly hyped Dubai Mall. For all my international readers, Dubai Mall is currently the largest shopping mall around - until the mega-ultra-super big mall in Dubailand is finished. We drove over there nice and early on a Friday before the rush came in, so we found a parking spot and headed indoors. As predicted, half the mall is clad in scaffolding and posters of 'Coming Soon' covering up empty shops. One of my friends visited the Aquarium and spewed away money getting into the damn thing, feeding some fish, and then getting a photograph taken. In my opinion fish only belong in two places - the sea or in sushi. The mall also features (wait for it) a Waitrose store, so anyone who's familiar with the franchise will surely feel like they're back in the UK. Now you know you're gay and domestic when you walk by a fashion store and march straight into a friggin supermarket. I wasn't too impressed with Waitrose to be honest - it's nothing like it is back in the UK...there wasn't a drop of wine in there!

I think we managed to see the entire mall in about 2 hours - the highlight of the visit was walking by 'The Waterfall' - which is a three level waterfall featuring naked silver men diving down. So here's another first - the world's gayest water feature...just click below and take a look for yourself!



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First, click here. (N.B - do not open this site if you are at work or are squeamish!)

Ready to pass out yet? Wouldn't that be a fantastic gift to give you mother for her birthday? Look ma - a great new cookbook!

Which makes me think - should I be worried if I spot a used copy of this book at a shop and the pages are stuck together?

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There's no better way to ring in the New Year than with some retail therapy - shopping is definitely a habit I can keep for 2009. So to ring it in with true style, I made a much-needed trip to dklozet, where I happened to pick up a pair of these Rufskin jeans. Needless to say, I have affectionately dubbed them my whore pants.

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Vote for outinmyhead for the 2009 Blogger Awards!

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