I've always wondered about the science fiction that is Starbucks. I was standing at a Starbucks counter this morning with a friend, and when the clerk asked for her order, she flawlessly blurted out "One grande skinny latte no foam vanilla shot". I looked at her as if she was possessed and speaking in tongues. Are you seriously kidding me with this? Since when did ordering a simple cup of coffee get so complicated? First you have to choose the size of the damn thing, which by the way, isn't in English anymore - you get a small, venti, grande, and god knows what else. Then you have to make the mortifying decision if you want to have full cream milk or low-fat, followed by the excruciating decision if you want a foamy moustache when you drink or not. I'm sure countless wars have been waged over how much foam needs to go on top of your coffee.

Trust Starbucks to take the art of making coffee and turn it into a fucking science.

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