The other day I was walking around IKEA and a friend of mine was going on about how stylish the Swedish are, and what the world would be like if IKEA hadn't graced us with flat-pack stuff designed by people with unpronounceable names. I then proceeded to educate her that though IKEA may be a Swedish company, nothing in IKEA was actually made in Sweden - an idea that she absolutely refused to believe. So I took her on a tour of the store, and picked up a carpet made in India, tea candles from China, a plate from Taiwan, a curtain from Vietnam, and a bathroom rug from India - it's like I had the fucking UN in my shopping basket. Anyway, we went over to the eatery to have a snack, and I noticed that there are these murals that describe obscure little villages and towns in Sweden, and link them back somehow to a piece of furniture in the store. Skimming through these little wall tidbits, I came across one picture that literally made me choke on my cinnamon roll.



Hedgarden - a gay man's Heaven.


The other day my brother told me that he was going to go to India for a few weeks to get some medical treatment, and while he was there, he was going to take my advice and get a colonic. So here is the exact conversation we had in the car:

Him: Yea so I'm thinking while I'm there, I might get that colonic thing.
Me: Oh really?
Him: Yea - you've done it, right?
Me: A couple of years ago, yea.
Him: Isn't that where they stick a tube in your ass?
Me: Er, yea that's how they get everything out of your system.
Him: Didn't it hurt for you?
Me: No, didn't hurt at all.
Him: Really? How come?

Er- how come? I'm sure I could have spent the next 2 hours detailing why exactly it didn't hurt, but I just told him that I focused my mind on something else. Because he really wanted to hear me tell the doctor "Oh go deeper big boy!"

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