Here's a question for you - how many times have you met a really great guy, chatted for a bit, exchanged numbers, and then patiently waited all week for him to ring you back? It's an eternal paradox that millions of women and gay men face all the time. The oh-so-charming man who catches your attention, and leaves you with 'I'll call you sometime' - except the 'sometime' never seems to come around. And you tend to go slightly insane during the waiting process. You check if your phone is working, if you've accidentally activated call divert, or you apply for call divert so you can divert your home phone to the second cell phone that you've just bought so that you don't miss his call. Eventually, he will find your number on a napkin deep down in his trouser pocket, mingling with ribbed condoms and mint gum. And when he finally does call you back (if he does), you pretend like you haven't been sitting next to the phone telephatically trying to make it ring.

I for one have been in this situation before. Cute guy, great conversation, we laugh, we smile, the numbers exchange hands, and then absolutely nothing - it's like these 'wonder men' just step off the earth and into a black hole. If you're not going to call us back, will you fucking grow some balls and just tell us? We would much rather have the up-front rejection than the days of agony spent hoarding the phone.

So remember my sweeties,

If he's not calling you,
If he's not marrying you,
If he's not sleeping with you,

Then he's just not that into you.

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