So in the usual run up to Valentine's Day, I find my single self standing back and looking at people go completly nuts over one lousy day. Flowers are double the price, restauraunts are over booked, and every fucking teddy from Carebearland is on the shelf, ready to be snatched up by some poor guy who hopes that the little fuzzy animal will increase his chances of his girl putting out. I digress - it's just hard to get into the romantic mood when you're single. Still, I do have a date with my vibrator which I intend to keep wholeheartedly.

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths we will go to when trying to attract someone. For example, have a look at this site (n.b not safe for work). We've become so desperate to attract someone, that we've resorted to spray freaking pig hormones on ourselves. I mean if I wanted to attract a man that way, I'd just wrap myself up in bacon and go stand out in the bloody street.

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