Do you know what's even harder than being gay? Being gay and Indian. Indian men are supposed to uphold the long standing traditions of harvesting many grandchildren for their parents. So of course, you can imagine the kind of plans my parents have in store for me. They're so adamant to get me married off that they've got a marriage funds account setup for me since the beginning of time. I hear that it's worth quite a sum, but my folks would rather give it to a Mother Theresa charity than fund their son's gay wedding.

But seriously speaking - gay or straight, Indian kids have been known to experience a lot of pressure from their folks to get married at the right age. The men can't marry when they're approaching 30 because apparently all their sperm has migrated north to their brain. And women can't marry if they're approaching 30 because that only leaves 10 years to have more kids, compared to the 18 years of child-rearing bliss they will go through if they marry at 22. I've heard this story so many times before from my mum - how she was married so young, had to look after her husband and kids, then moving house, having more kids, staying at home - you don't think we remember these things? HELLO? That's our childhood you're talking about - WE WERE IN IT!

A lot of my friends ask me about what's going to happen when my parents (especially my mum) start entering that 'wedding fever' mode. It's like a dormant autopilot mode kicks in, and before you know it, they house has been repainted, new furniture has been ordered, and suddenly there's a marble statue in the middle of the living room. I just give them the 'cross that bridge when I come to it' answer, but I know better - my mum is one determined woman.

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