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Saturday, July 07, 2007
Harder Better Faster Longer


So another friend of mine got married today, and though I can't attend because I'm stuck in Dubai, I still wish him and his new bride all the very best for the life together.

I've always imagined my wedding the same way for as far back as I can remember - white roses in the church, wearing a black tux with my hair long and sleekly swept to one side of my face, with my beaming husband-to-be waiting at the alter. Then the priest would begin the service and things would speed along just like any ordinary wedding. Except recently it's dawned on me that this wedding vision of mine is really never going to happen. I've been raised a Catholic, and last time I checked, no Catholic church was going to marry me off to another man. It really struck a nerve within me when I realized this, as I've always found Catholic weddings to be the most beautiful. Still, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I can never truly have the exact same ceremony that I have been dreaming of all these years. For me to admit this is actually a huge deal for me, but as they say, life does move on. I guess at the end of the day when you're walking down the aisle, there's someone waiting for you at the end who will love and cherish you for every single day of your life.

I don't know if I'm hung up a bit too much about dating someone, or being in a relationship. If you think about it though, every one of us has that innate desire to belong, to pair up, to not be the one left behind. We have our cliques, fraternities, alumni, and clubs so that we can pair up with people who have some sort of common ground. But for no special reason really, I would like to have that 'comfort feeling' that there is someone stable in my life. Yes, I have a group of friends who are absolutely fantastic in every way, and in no way would I ever substitute that for anything, but sometimes when you come home, it would be nice to curl up next to someone, or ring up that one person whom you know is sleeping, but will wake up just to hear you whisper "I love you...sweet dreams".


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3 Comments:
Blogger Unknown said...
I don't know, I've always found the Blessed Sacrament a more - ah - fulfilling/constant love/r than the blockheaded, merely mortal variety.

Blogger Unknown said...
I know the feeling. I've got great friends too, but since I moved back to Dubai and saw them all get married, there's the occasional moments of feeling left behind and wishing I can find the right guy for me too...

Blogger nobody's angel said...
dahling...
:(
*hugs*