Every so often, I get an email from my blog readers. It's good to hear what people think of this blog, and how much they love me. This week, I got an email that I just had to post here instead of emailing the person back. Here's the original email in all its glory:

Hell there mr Indian Man!

I found ur blog on the net and must ask you a few questions. I am in Dubai for about two weeks and want to get to know the gay scene, but naturally you cannot google it coz everything is blocked etc. So, can u pass me a few pointers as to where the gay hotspots are, what to do, where to go, how to meet people...and HOW CAN I HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE...hahahah! ok, so it's been a while, I cant help it. and it turns out that i actually think arab men are attractive, so I must have sooome fun before I leave!

Ur help is much much appreciated!

Cheers mate.
M.

Dear M,

I'm afraid that two weeks is too little a time for me to educate you on the frills of life here - try twenty or so years, and then come back to me. In case you haven't realized, I'm not your alternative to gaydar, so you'll have to do your own head hunting. You sound like a truly wonderful person, and you've got that texting lingo down to the letter. GOOD LUCK WITH HOOKING UP WITH SOMEONE I REALLY HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE BECAUSE OTHERWISE THAT WOULD NOT BE GOOD IF YOU DID NOT FIND SOMEONE OKAY?

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So a while back in 2005, I did this and got the email in today. Here's the original email, and my reply.

Dear Future Me,

Happy Birthday! You're a year older today and I'm sure none the wiser. How are things with you? Please tell me you're not still single! How goes the job hunt? Friends still a-okay? Or have you shot a few down? I hope you've managed to travel to somewhere! How has life been for you so far? Just wanted to wish you on your (our) birthday, and hope you have a great time!

Yours faithfully,

Past Me



Dear Past Me,

Thanks for the wishes! Every year I seem to have mixed thoughts about my birthday, but things seem to straighten out (pun intended) just fine on the day itself. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm still single - though I've kinda come to terms with that, and believe it or not, I can occasionally be happy about it! The job hunt has ended - I have been working for just over a year now in a hectic company as an IT & Marketing chap, though I tend to do a whole lot of things! Friends are great and fabulous - this year has been great for meeting a lot of new people as well as reconnecting with some long-lost people. You should have *so* signed up for Facebook - there are loads of old classmates and relics on there! I did indeed travel this year - I headed to UK in February for company training, and it was great! London is such a vibrant city with so much to do as a first-time visitor. Though I was only there for a week, I am seriously considering going back for a short trip soon. Life has otherwise been pretty good for me - I have a car now! Yup - you heard that right! So I'm driving to work and have transportation 100% covered when I go out on the weekends! I'm happy where I am now - well and truly happy, and not just saying that. Maybe it just takes birthdays for people like me to realize just how good life can get? Anyway, that's the update from my side - see you again in 2 years!

Love always,

Future Me

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I think the world is really getting to be a freaky looking place. Last week I went mall hopping with some friends, and I took in some of the crap the kids were wearing, and they looked like they had come out of an orphanage run by Sharon Osborne. What's with all the shredded jeans, hoodies, black skull underwear, and red highlights? I'm sorry, I must have missed the memo that the latest fashion trend was to look like the walking dead.

It's not just the clothes that got me thinking - it's everything about the 'MTv' generation. Their clothes, their music, their look - everything just sort of screams out at you. Even their role models have changed - anorexic looking women and hip-hop wannabes are what they adore. In a society totally obsessed with body image, the 'generation next' is heading straight for the downhill plunge. I remember when Peter Andre hit the scene so many years ago - the sight of a half naked man with ripped abs scared the shit out of us. Now, that's the image we've come to accept as the norm, with the girls trying their best for a size zero figure. I mean what the hell is a size zero anyway? Is that someone who has been steamrolled flat?

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The issue with being a woman's gay friend is that she will always look to you for your honest opinion. You can smoothly tell her that her ass doesn't look quite right in those pants, or that her boobs are too big for that top, or that her hair color looks like vomit. You can slaughter her with all these things and still be the best of friends, because she expects you to be truthful. Unlike straight men who have to worry about whether or not they're going to get any sex after they reply, we can just comment away and then troupe down to the nearest Starbucks for a celebratory latte for our latest purchase.

Some of my gal pals have been exposed to my rather direct commentary on their clothes. Mind you, if you're going to be seen in public with me, you are going to make an effort to look good. I will not have someone's lack of fashion sense make me look bad in any way - I don't care if I have to drag you into a store by your hair. So on several occasions when my gals have asked me what I have thought about this dress, or how they look in this top, I have been pretty much straightforward with them:

Her: (holding up lace black top) What do you think of this cool top?
Me: Ladies and gentlemen, slut at 3 o'clock!

Her: Oh I love this dress...look at the print - it's so nice and bright!
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't know Cirque du Soleil was hiring...

Her: Does my ass look too big wearing this?
Me: Which one?

Her: You're so mean!
Me: And your point it?


I still want to know why they don't make Barbie flat-chested. I mean, do you really want to instill the debate of cup size into a little girl? Why do you think Ken has no crotch? Mattel doesn't want boys to worry about their endowment at such a young age - yet what they fail to realize is that the little boys are already grinning because they have something that Ken doesn't - elastic underwear.

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Over the past few days, I have been hearing several people (including myself) gripe about their age and growing older. There was a time when getting old was done gracefully - now it's overshadowed by botox, creams, lipo, and god knows what else. I mean, I'm 24 for crying out loud. 24! If I'm worried about life when I'm this young, imagine what will happen when I hit 30 - probably have a mental breakdown or something like that. Truth be told, for the first time today, I actually stopped myself and wondered 'What the hell am I getting so worked up about getting older?' Of course, I may sing a different tune come the impending D-day (a.k.a The Birthday), but the point that I'm trying to drive home here is that life is for living, so shut the hell up with your whining, and live it.



Thank You.

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