Kids. Those who know me are aware of how much I can't stand kids. But beyond kids there lies an even more sinister and powerful evil. One that will strike terror in the hears of men and in their wallets.

Babies.

What is it about a baby that reduces a full grown mature adult to a gurgling babbling idiot? Today at the supermarket checkout, the lady at the counter was completly oblivious to me waving my credit card in her face, as she had her eyes fixed on a slobbery baby in a pram behind me. She was also doing the most peculiar thing which involved her bobbing her head forward, closing her eyes, and then opening them again (much like a turkey). I wanted to tell that woman Listen lady, I don't think the baby's amused at your awesome ability to blink. I bet the baby was thinking something along the lines of Whoa Lady you can blink...now are you going to get the fuck out of my face or do you want those eyes in a plastic bag?

Or maybe not.

Babies are also an absolute terror in restaurants. Here you are, having dinner in a lovely place and enjoying a conversation your smart and obviously attractive date, when Little Junior Son Of A Bitch starts wailing in the next table. I go over the scene in my head - food will start flying, cutlery will be next, the mother will atempt to raise her voice to drown out the baby, while the father meekly trys to signal for the check.

Coming back to the father, we should have husbands fixed. I hear there's a vet in Deira that gives discounts if you bring in more that 2.

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