My birthday is next month, and I've decided on what I'd like to get - a Traffic Light. They're amazing contraptions that can stop whole rivers of cars dead in their tracks with a mere flick of color. Speed demons loathe them and pedestrians seem to ignore them. So this year on my birthday, I would like to go out with a traffic light strapped to my back which would of course change color depending on my mood. For all you lovely people out there, here's a reference chart for my moods:

red - PMS/Mid-life crisis. If you value your testicles, do not approach me.
yellow - Proceed with caution. Chances of landing a date range from slim to near zero. Expect sarcastic put-downs directed at your wardrobe.
green - Bur-Dubai-whore mode. Take a number and come on in.

Here's a few things that I've learnt this week worth blogging about:
- Coffee with your ex who is now married is a definate no-no.
- Coffee with your ex who is now married and is bringing their partner along is a never-never.
- Giving up sex for Lent was the easiest thing in the world; I'm not getting some anyway!
- Moving 10 users to a new network switch at work was child's play. Actually configuring the stupid thing was a pain in the ass.
- 'Superstar' is my official office nickname.
- People have begun to stare at my orange mp3 player with pink headphones.
- Men who are unaware that they are not alone in the men's room and groan at urinals have severe repressed childhood issues - period.

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