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Saturday, April 29, 2006
Life for Rent
I officially have nothing to blog about this weekend. I think my life needs more drama - the position for stalker is now open.

I think parents silently hope that their kids can be refunded. Or crammed into the post box for a mail-in rebate. Reflecting on the people in my life who have kids of their own, I really wonder what my life would be like if I had a kid of my own (hello stretchmarks). If I were a Dad, I'd sure as hell never introduce my kid to the marketing horror that is Santa Claus. That is of course, unless he is dressed in a red leather thong and has more than 'presents' in his sack. In that sort of scenario, Junior would find Daddy doing more than just kissing Santa Claus (losing train of thought here). But seriously speaking, I'd educate my kid on the political horrors of kindergarden and gift him his first pepper-spray for his 5th birthday. Hey, kids at school can be mean - it's every brat for himself!

Of course, there would be the downside of the constant questions, tantrums in the shopping malls, falling sick every week, refusing to eat properly, and most importantly, the complete elimination of my sex life.


I think I'll just stick to having a cat.


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