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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I'm Coming Out
I think coming out is one of the most difficult yet often over-rated parts about being gay. For some, it is a truly liberating experience, and the effect it has on your close friends and family is fantastic. I've heard a number of my friends tell me how worried they were about coming out, and how they feared other people would react. But after they got it off their chest, they were just worried about nothing. For example, take my friend L's experience: (I'm not making this up at ALL!)

L: Mum, Dad, I have something important to tell you.
Mum: Oh god...you're pregnant!
L: Er, no. I'm gay...
Dad: Oh! Well yea, we already knew!
L: Oh, er...okay... *family hug*

Don't get me wrong though, for some people coming out has been the hardest thing they've done, often leading to arguments, being thrown out of the house, and what not. And being outed by someone else when you didn't ask for it is another issue. Just yesterday on a forum I moderate, a member outed another member - his 'apparent' best friend. As much as I would have loved to leave the message and observe the ensuing fued, I decided to get rid of the message alltogether. Simply because, I wouldn't like to be outed on a public forum like that, even if it was done by a 'best friend'. And best friends like that I can do without, thank you very much.


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3 Comments:
Blogger N said...
How did people react about your being gay when you told them?

Just curious :o)

Anonymous Nick said...
Well friends have been fab about it...all hugs and kisses and everything =) Tho my family is still in the dark about it...I'm not sure starting a gay blog would be the best way to keep it a secret!

Blogger BreastImplants said...
Aloha Nick :)

A very close friend deliberated for most of his teenage years, replayed different scenarios in his head...how his incredibly indian parents would react to his coming out. Nevermind they were keralites albeit singaporean keralites.

His family didn't react as terribly as he thought they would. Far from it though. I think his family was more supportive than some of his "so-called" close friends.

To me, coming out stories are fascinating ....a Hispanic friend in America told me he was outed by a boy he had a crush on in high school (very reminiscent of the Bronski Beat video - Smalltown Boy).

A college mate in Dubai lives with her long-term girlfriend but worries about the time her palestinian parents will force her to get married to a man. Her sister knows, but says it's a phase and she'll grow out of it. Her girlfriend has no such problems, she's Dutch and 8 years older than she is.

And there's the older couple I'm friends with, the German man couldn't understand why his indian boyfriend hesitated to tell his parents that he's gay. And they've been together for almost a decade now.

I guess it's the same with everything else? Do it when you're ready, eh?

Great blog, by the way :)

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