Sam,




She will always love you.

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Last weekend my friends and I decided we needed to have a crazy night out, so we headed on down to the infamous Club Submarine. Why 'infamous' you ask? Well, let's just say it's the kind of bar that you can compare to the YMCA (hint hint). Looking back, I'm glad that we went to Submarine because that night I decided once and for all that I would never step into that club again.

Now the only downside of not being an alcoholic is that there's often very little on offer at the bar in terms of non-alcoholic drinks. Since a fried of mine wasn't drinking as well that night, we decided to approach the bartender and ask him what non-alcoholic stuff he had. Apart from 'juices' and 'water', I wasn't very impressed, but he then said that he would make a special 'fruit cocktail' for us, which sounded pretty good, so we agreed. Twenty minutes later (yes twenty) he comes back with two tall glasses filled with a creamy looking liquid - his apparent 'best creation'. I took one sip of the concoction and nearly threw up back into the glass. I asked the guy what he put into the drink and he happily told me. "There is lychee, banana, vanilla ice cream, some strawberries, coconut cream, and little bit of chocolate sauce" Trust me, it tasted more like cum in a glass, it was that vile. After two more sips I decided that this stuff was lethal enough to be declared a biohazard. What killed me even more is when I asked for the bill, the guy had charged me 40 bucks for that wank-off drink. That's 80 bucks for something that could have come from the local sperm bank! So feeling incredibly ripped off, I shove the disgusting mix away and decided to play it safe by ordering a glass of apple juice. The guy opens a packet of Lacnor Apple Juice, pours it into a glass, whips in some ice cubes and a straw, and hands it over to me. He scribbles down the amount due onto a paper and I can just barely make out an '18' on the bill. I hand him over a 100 dirham note and wait patiently for my change. The guy then comes over and pops my change onto the bar and heads off. I pick up my cash only to discover that there's a ridiculously small amount of it - only 52 dirhams in change! I look back down at the now printed-out bill and nearly pass out...the apple juice cost me 48 bucks. Forty eight fucking dirhams! I didn't know whether to scream, throw something, or bend over the bar and help myself to more apple juice. In the end I just decided to sit there and sip that fucking apple juice like it was liquid gold. The funny bit is that beer only costs 20 dirhams, so these guys are making more money off the sober people!

The other thing I don't like about Submarine is that it's a meat market - it's just Jules Bar without the glory holes (so far). The funny thing is that I saw these guys there who are on gaydar with profiles like "Looking for a decent guy for friendship and long term relationship" and then I come here and see them grinding up with other guys on the dance floor. Yup - that's what relationships are built on these days - how far you can thrust your crotch into another guy's leg.

Cheers!

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