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Saturday, May 29, 2010
Could You Be Loved
As per tradition, I got my yearly email from Futureme.org, and it's kinda spooky how accurate things have turned out!

Dear FutureMe,

I decided to send this email out a few days after your birthday, simply because I wanted it to appear on a random day. Truth be told, I could have sent it to you in August if I wanted to piss you off, but I think I'm too nice to do that to you. Happy Belated Birthday by the way.
So let's get the regular stuff out of the way - you're single but happy with it, and most likely you've moved in with that insane couple (you know who I'm talking about) or you've finally got you own place (but you spend 90% of your time at their house anyway). You're in the same job and the stress is getting to you, but know your job there's little you can do about it. Hopefully your travel plans this year are a bit more exciting? Please for the love of god don't go to UK again and call that a vacation - go someplace new for a change!

I really don't want to spend the rest of this email listing out what has and has not happened for you, but instead I want to remind you of a few things that you may have forgotten about.

You are an amazing, AMAZING person. Never EVER change for anyone or lose sight of who you are. This may sound like some sentimental crap that I've stolen from a Hallmark card, but it's seriously the truth. Stop spending time in your day dreaming about things to come or 'what if' scenarios. Screw all of that and live in the MOMENT. You are funny, fabulous, and a fantastic friend to the lucky few who know you. One day someone will be lucky enough to have you all to themselves, but until then you are destined to enjoy life and have some truly amazing experiences and opportunities. Life will never stand still for you, and the world loves you because of that.

So go out and live a little every once in a while - you are fucking worth it.

Love always,


PastMe

P.S Hope your birthday was a blast! Karaoke again I assume?


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Saturday, May 22, 2010
Happy Birthday

To my anonymous admirer,

Thank you once again for the flowers :)


In other news, Happy Birthday to me!


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Friday, May 14, 2010
Levity


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Saturday, May 08, 2010
Not that kind




I'd like to share something with you all. I really like socializing with most straight men. And before you pull the old 'oh he just wants to get into his pants' card, let me explain.

The reason I like having straight men in my life is because they're just so easy to get along with. You know beforehand that you're not going to end up sleeping with this guy, so you can sit down and have a thoroughly entertaining conversation with him without the fear that he's going to whip out his family jewels. The best part about most of the straight men in my life is that I can flirt uncontrollably with them and they don't bat an eyelid - in fact, some of them even enjoy the extra attention.

What I don't like is when I hear gay men trying to 'convert' straight men - this ain't any on-off switch honey, so don't bother. 'Converting' straight men sounds just way too cumbersome and almost makes gay people sound like some sort of cult - or even worse, like the lunatics who come around your houses asking if you've welcomed Jesus in your life.

I mean, can you really see this 'conversion' scenario happening:

*knock* *knock*
Straight man: Yes?
Gay man: Hi there sir! I'm here to talk to you about the healing power of cock!

Me thinks not.


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