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Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Kal Ho Na Ho
So in sort of 'traditional' Bollywood-ripping-off-Hollywood style, a new Bollywood flick is slated for release soon, loosely based on I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. The film is produced by Karan Johar and is called "Dostana", starring John Abraham and Abhishek Bachan in some sort of twisted plot that revolves around a woman (how original). Now I don't want to go around dissing Karan, coz he's a brother and a sister, but seriously what is this guy thinking? And serious, Abhishek Bachan? Couldn't you find any other actors to play alongside John? Check out the trailer below for plenty of skin on display!


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Sunday, August 24, 2008
Write a million lines
Thanks to a friend of mine, I am now a published writer! I've been doing writing for as long as I can remember, but I had taken quite a break from it...now I'm back in full force and contributing to an Indian magazine called 'The Man'. This is my first article for them, so please have a read through and leave your comments!





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Sunday, August 17, 2008
Lower My Gun
On many occasions, men and women have come to the conclusion that they cannot speak the same language. Somewhere in the midst of things, there's a translation error of some sorts. Men say one thing and do another, while women say one thing and mean another. Playing along this theme, I've decided to do a fun blog post dedicated to a female friend of mine, which is a brief listing of some of her common phrases, just so that her husband can log on here and translate her lingo.

She says: It's just my suggestion.
She means: Let's do it your way first, and when you fuck things up, we're going to do it my way for the rest of your life.

She says: Why, what did you have in mind?
She means: I didn't mean to mislead you into thinking your opinion mattered.

She says: Can you do me a favor?
She means: Do it now.

She says: When you have the time...
She means: I'm having to repeat myself - this cannot end well for you.

She says: I don't think that's a good idea
She means: Excuse me while I stand over here and laugh at your dumb ass.

She says: I love you
She means: If you hurt me I will break every bone in your body.

She says: I'm sorry babes
She means: You'd better sleep with one eye open tonight.


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Saturday, August 16, 2008
The Stars are Blind
Here are some random odds and ends from this week that I'd like to share with you all.

1. A friend of mine was driving me around and we got to talking about men, and she said to me "Oh you know what - looking at you I would never in a million years imagine that you were gay" To which I replied "Yeah - I'm somewhat of an undercover fag"

2. I had a quick coffee catchup with a friend of mine, and he said that he was thinking of getting a dog, more specifically a poodle (just to blow the gayometer sky high). But the funniest thing was that he said he didn't want a dog that licks him. I just said "Honey, you're gay - you probably taste like a fucking Fruit Loop"

3. Fashion tip #91: Never wear a blue T-shirt and go to IKEA - or every second person will ask you where they can find the Indgar shelving units.


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Friday, August 15, 2008
Vande Mataram


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Tuesday, August 12, 2008
That thing you do


Can anyone please tell me what the hell Crocs are supposed to be? They look like the footwear you'd find in some rat infested factory - can you even regard them as proper footwear? What the hell is up with all those holes anyway? You think people want to be smelling your ripe feet as you walk by? And you know what they do with all the small bits of plastic they've got leftover from all the holes they've punched?

They melt them down into condoms.

The biggest threat to world peace isn't nuclear warheads - it's improper footwear. Because no matter how cool you think Crocs are, you still look like a fucking dumbass.

Today I had an exceptionally memorable experience in the elevator at work. I got into the lift and there was already a guy in there, talking away on his mobile phone. Now I really wasn't in the mood to share in his conversation, so after a couple of seconds I whipped out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. All I said was "Hey babes - listen, I'm going to get some groceries after work...do we need condoms?" This of course caused the guy to whip around and stare at me, at which point I then said "Oh I'm sorry, am I being too loud?" and put my phone away. The guy muffled a quick 'I'll call you back' to whoever he was talking to and promptly left the elevator, almost tripping on himself on the way out. I mean seriously, do you honestly think that the whole goddamn world needs to hear your conversation?


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Sunday, August 10, 2008
What's Going On
This is one of the most politically incorrect videos I've seen yet, but it made me laugh so much that I've ordered the DVD!



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Monday, August 04, 2008
Baby Got Back
This is probably my most embaressing post ever.

I got my monthly quota of browsing around dklozet, and snatched up a pair of these. I haven't had a chance to try them on yet, but the pair I picked up were bright red and had 'Fire Rescue' in bold writing on the back.

Absolutely charming stuff.


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